My family was visiting for the Holiday but we were also going to see my (now very ex) husband's parents for Christmas Day. Christmas Eve after I got off work (I was in retail) we spent it with my family. Then loaded the kids and ourselves up and took off for LAX - a meeting point. We had a fight there - a friend of mine called to wish me a Merry Christmas and I didn't get off the phone in a timely manner so we could get food. (I'm NOT psychic, I didn't know he was THAT hungry.) We met his family and the friend we were picking up at LAX and finished the drive up to his parents. I was exhausted, I had worked one of the busiest days, endured a quick Christmas with my family, a fight, and almost 4 hours of drive time. All I wanted to do was sleep. But his friends had flown in to see him for Christmas.
Christmas came, the kids had a blast. I got beautiful jewelry and a coat. The food was great and the drinking started. I didn't drink, I knew I would be driving home (I had to work the next morning, early). It got later and later and I was getting more and more irritated. It's almost a 4hr drive home, I still had to load the car with all the presents, unload it, put the kids in bed, and get in bed myself. I think it was close to 10 when I told him we had to go. I asked for help with the presents but my requests fell on deaf ears - He was drunk. After nearly tripping with an armful of presents, I lost it. It was a fight that lasted for an hour, maybe more... I don't know. I'll never forget it tho. It was the only time he physically struck me. And of course his parents got involved. He finally started helping with the presents but made sure to insult me in a most horrible way: "You're worthless." "You can't even pick up your daughter's presents right." The insults kept coming and I took them. I just wanted to go home. I was close to leaving him there... I even made it out to the freeway. But he called me and threatened to report his car stolen. So I went back. I picked him up... For a few minutes he was quiet and behaved. But something set him off again. Only this time, along with the insults he called the cops, to "report an erratic driver." (That's what he wanted me to believe.) I slammed on the breaks, pulled off to the side of the road, and called 911 myself. (I found out that he didn't really call the cops, just pretended to.) He called his parents, something he would do frequently when I upset him. The cops sent me home with my kids, and sent him with his parents. I think I got home around 4am. Maybe later. I still went to work, my housemate watched my kids for me.
Needless to say, the In-Laws that once loved me, loved me no more. I was poison to them. While my husband got to stay I was never invited again. Even when I wanted to apologize for my behavior. My "loving" husband never bothered to fight for me... Nah, just with me. But that's beside the point.
I hated Christmas after this. And it took years to find the joy in it, again. Not to mention I still have a scar to constantly remind me about my Christmas night of 2007.
What did I learn? Be considerate of your other half. Don't forget they might have things to do the next morning. If there's something on your mind, speak up because holding it in is destructive. Don't fight in front of family, whether it be yours or not. If your other half isn't going to defend you, leave. It's not worth the heartache. Be careful when fighting with someone who carries a box cutter in their pocket. If you can't remember why Christmas is a happy time, look into the faces of your children. They'll remind you.
"I don't think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains." -Anne Frank
